Walk like an Egyptian

I haven't been there, but I have to assume to life in Egypt is pretty, pretty damned good.

The economy must be soaring.

Literacy must be at all time high.

Health care must be available to all.

And the ancient streets of Cairo must be paved in 24 karat gold.

Thus freeing up Egyptian legislators to tackle the more pressing issues of the day.

Last week, for instance they slaughtered the entire pig population and eliminated the threat of any Egyptian catching the deadly swine flu.

This week, on-the-ball politicians are turning their attention to Fake Virginity Kits being manufactured in China. Clever, sexually-active Egyptian women can now consummate their marriage, knowing that with a little dim-lighting and a pseudo-hymen in place, they can fool their husbands with all the nuanced, subtlety of a Mossad False Flag operation.

Kudos Egypt, you are blazing new trails into the modernity of the 12 century.