Bad Dad

I know it happens to every parent, but somehow that's little consolation. You try to get your daughter to do her chores. To clean up her room. Or empty the dishwasher. You reason with her. You blather on about your own burdensome childhood. You reason with her some more. And when that doesn't work you raise your voice and she runs off to her room screaming, "I hate you and I hate your ugly cargo shorts."

I know this happens to others because I did a Google search of "teenage angst" and came up with 2,998,000 hits.

But just as I begin to feel like a total loser dad, TV comes to the rescue.

In the form of The Learning Channel.

And a little train wreck of a show called Toddlers and Tiaras.

For all my transgressions, I can take solace in the fact that I never forced either of my daughters to wear a glitz dress. Or heaven forbid a high-glitz dress.

I never spray-painted their bodies with carcinogenic tanning lotions.

And I never Shang Hai'ed them off to the Nashville Comfort Inn with the hopes of winning

Miss Royal Supreme Walk of Fame Red Carpet Noble Dream Princess.