Thursday, October 24, 2019

Thursday Torture


Today, we take a break from politics.

It has taken on all consuming powers these days and it is best to remove oneself from the Black Hole that is Donald J. Trump.

We also take a breather from advertising, a topic which is no less depressing given its dwindling resources, low morale and near certain death.

Likewise, we also take a respite from the various vicissitudes of life, refinance loans, elderly care and no-win auto accident claims, that generally have me reaching for the nearest CostCo sized bottle of 90+ proof Kentucky bourbon.

Instead we turn to a pet peeve of mine that merits further examination, the Truck Reverse Beep.

I have said it before and I'll say it again, I'm no fan of the Nanny State. And despise, like many Americans, the overreach of government with useless warnings and matriarchal finger wagging.

I know NOT to drink bleach. Moreover, people that don't know, should do us all a favor and drink more.

The same goes for the Truck Reverse Beep, which I reckon they started installing about 25 years ago.

How did we live as a civilized society without this precious lifesaver?

Memory doesn't serve me well, but I have to ask what drove our useless lawmakers to tackle this pressing problem? Were thousands and thousands of people mindlessly walking in back of huge flatbed trucks only to be sent to their sad pancaked death?

I hate to sound mercenary, but the Darwin in me suggests they probably deserved it.

Because according to my statistics, which are only anecdotal - like all the numbers coming out of the White House -- in its relatively short lifespan the Truck Reverse Beep has saved zero lives while at the same time resulted in:

* 3,831,946 Migraine Headaches

* 17,453,732 Frayed Nerves

* 2,876,593, 624 Awakened People Opening Up Their Windows In The Middle Of The Night Shouting: "Shut the Fuck Up!"

I never thought of myself as a firearm owning person, but that is changing rapidly. And while I would find it impossible, or at the very least difficult, to aim upon another human being, I would have no trouble pointing a pistol at the noise-making ending of a Peterbuilt truck.

And with that, I give you this video re-enactment of staying at a San Francisco Hotel at 3:30 in the morning.




1 comment:

Eric Lefton said...

It only took you three sentences to sum up a crap ton of my thoughts and feelings about a weird part of our culture and laws.

"I have said it before and I'll say it again, I'm no fan of the Nanny State. And despise, like many Americans, the overreach of government with useless warnings and matriarchal finger wagging.

I know NOT to drink bleach. Moreover, people that don't know, should do us all a favor and drink more."

Thank you Rich. I am happy that you are bored.