Wednesday, June 12, 2019

Hooray for Hollywood.


Happening now.

1/4 mile from my house.

As we speak.

It's the biggest, baddest, super duper, earth rocking, planet shaking, world premiere of the newest entry in the Ghostbusters Enterprise!!!

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I'd be lying if I said I knew the title of this new "film", GhostBusters 9, The Smoring of the Mallow. I don't know and I don't give a rat's ass.

In fact, and I know this has the potential to upset many of my geeky nerd friends in the ad community who Cosplay on weekends, collect Star Wars light sabers and make annual pilgrimages to Carrtoonicom -- or whatever the fuck it's called -- I am in the Bill Maher camp when it comes to superheroes or superhero action movies, I can't stand them.

I'm sorry, but this 44 year old was raised in the Golden Age of Cinema, when meaty movies would stay with you longer than abdominal gas induced by Arclight hot dogs and Fanta soda.

Films like: The Godfather, Dog Day Afternoon, The French Connection, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Apocalypse Now, The Conversation, Klute, The Party, etc.

All of which explains why I find the nonsense pictured above to be so amusing.

Note the colossal, towering Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

In the first movie (which was more than enough, thank you very much), this sugary beast stood taller than many skyscrapers in NY. In reality it's nothing more than a dirty, recycled bouncy house that has sat for twenty years in a musty soundstage, behind the one where they shoot Wheel of Fortune.

If that weren't shabby enough, check out the goobers decked out in gerry-rigged Ghostbuster uniforms. I hate to be all judgey, but these are grown men. Do they not have the same shit to do that I have to do?

* Pay bills

* Straighten out the garage

* Walk the dog

* Get new brake pads for the car

* Patch the hole in the drywall

* Pay more bills

* Fight with my wife

Also, I can't help thinking of all the preparation that went into their costumes.

Jackboots, check.

Simulated Night Vision Goggles, check.

Utility Belt, check.

Perfectly matched khaki pants and shirt?

GAP SALESMAN: "I don't have khakis that are the same color as the ones in the movie. But our store all the way out in Rancho Cucamonga does."

GHOSTBUSTER WANNABE: "How late are they open?"

Truth be told, the longer you live in Los Angeles the sooner you come to realize, there is no glamour in Hollywood.

And there's even less of it in Culver City.


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