Thursday, August 2, 2018

Ladies and gentleman, I give you United States Senator James Lankford

Letter #23 in my Thursday Thrashing Series.

In the barrel today, Oklahoma Senator James Lankford and man who successfully tied his own tie on the third try.



Senator James Lankford
316 Hart Senate Building
Washington, D.C. 20510

Dear Senator Lankford,

Recently, you were interviewed on ABC News and were asked about the Special Counsel's investigation into the Russian attack on our sovereignty. 

You said, and I want to get this verbatim, "the whole thing has gotten confused because Americans turn on the TV everyday and regardless of what channel or where they go to look for news online or in print, it's constantly something else seems to be the story."

Maybe that's Oklahoma-speak, but that's a lot to unpack. 

But just as I have with the 22 letters to other Republican US Senators (part of my year long, letter writing effort) that have preceded this one, I'm game.

First of all Senator, people should not be getting their news from TV. Television is good for getting the latest sports scores, dishing on the Kardashians or even Jeopardy. 

Do you have Jeopardy in Oklahoma, or do they just run Wheel of Fortune back to back?

Secondly, and more importantly, why do you presume to speak for the American people. Maybe you're confused, but I'm not. For instance:

* I know collusion is a non-binding euphemism for conspiracy (a crime)

* I understand the notion of Kompromat, thus explaining the president's supplication. I already pre-ordered the Pee-Pee tape

* I see a team of Precedent Shitgibbon's accomplices who had more than 70 illicit meetings with Russians prior to the election

* I recognize cover-ups, obfuscation and authoritarianism in plain sight (I wish the GOP did as well)

* I follow the comings and goings of Felix Sater, Victor Vekselberg, Deripashka, Boris Ephstyn, Bayrock, Erik Prince, 666 Fifth Avenue, George Nader and many more. 

It's deep. 
It's robust. 
It's slimy and un-American, but it's not confusing.

I can only surmise this has everything to do with what does or doesn't pass for intelligence in the great state of Oklahoma. 

A storied keystone of our nation that has given us the Grapes of Wrath, corn as high as an elephant's eye, surrey's with fringes on top and of course, the crown jewel contribution to western civilization, Brian Bosworth.

 I'll be the first to admit that these are nothing but low, cheap shots based on ill-informed hackneyed stereotypes and clich├ęs. But that seems to be the coin of the realm these days, doesn't it Senator?  Not thanks to my president, Obama, but thanks to yours -- Captain Fuckknuckle.

If any one is confused these days, I would suggest it's the GOP leadership. Or as I call them, Vichy II.


Rich Siegel
Culver City, CA 90232

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