Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Invasion of the Boxes

It's happening.

We are under a full scale architectural attack. An assault of epic rectangular proportions. A relentless barrage of hard right angles, negative space and unmerciful geometric tyranny.

I'm not sure that your neighborhood has fallen, but mine is quickly becoming unrecognizable.

Lately, I find myself manufacturing reasons to get in my new car and drive (see earlier post from March 14).

And with camera in hand, I could not help notice the aforementioned trend.

To wit...

This is but a small sampling of the box homes that seems to be springing up around every squared off corner in the neighborhood. 

Call me a Luddite, but I just don't see the curb appeal. 

Years ago, before the turn of the millennium and before we come under the iron-fisted rule of a lying, golf-happy, manure-brained man child, my wife and I did a total remodel of the house. We figured, and rightly so, that staying in Culver City to accommodate our expanding family made more sense than moving to tony and unaffordable Pacific Palisades, Beverly Hills or even Cheviot Hills. 

Not to mention the fact that Deb and I would simply not fit in with our new wealthier, upscale neighbors who would no doubt turn their artificially-adjusted noses up in our general direction and whisper behind closed doors...

"Look at they way they dress. And did you see their furniture? Are you sure they're Jewish?"

So we commissioned the services of an architect, a severely modern, hipster architect, who was a joy to work with, but who had mistakenly assumed we were way too cosmopolitan. I will never forget the day he brought over a 3D model of what our new home would like. It had boxes, like the ones you see above, meaning we would have been way ahead of the curve (see the irony?). 

But, the second story was this huge crescent-shaped banana-like structure that sat on top of the boxes like a sore carpenter's thumb. Suffice to say we didn't go that route.

Nor we did we go in the other direction, like this architecturally-challenged neighbor who couldn't settle for one style and decided to have them all.

I don't know what these folks are going for, I'm only glad they're not going for it on my street.

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