Thursday, March 8, 2018

Bitch at Mitch

Thursday Thrashing, Week #8

I'll spare you the intro and get right to it...


Senator Mitch McConnell
317 Russell Senate Office Building
WashingtonDC 205100001

Dear Mitch,

About two months ago I embarked on a mission to write to each of our Republican US Senators and offer them my personal review of their performance. It's sort of like YELP. Of course, with the dire direction our country is going in (porn stars/WH defections/money laundering/ Russians/and more porn stars) it's more like HELP.

This is now the 8th letter of its kind.

With you being the ranking majority Senator, you'd think you would have been the first to receive a letter. That honor went to Bob Corker.

In fact, perhaps due to my early senility or perhaps due to the hot lava like rage I feel towards your Tennessee cohort, I've actually penned TWO letters to Corky, who flips and flops more than an oxygen-starved mackerel on the deck of an Alaska fishing boat.

A long-winded way of saying, Mitch, you just don't merit my respect.

Truth be told, I had given serious thought to writing all 52 letters and purposely not writing to you; the Merrick Garland treatment if you will.

But, here we are, so permit me to unload on the piss poor positions you have taken on the pressing issues of the day.

On Russian election interference, you stated...oh wait you haven't stated anything.

On the House Intel Committee debacle, uh...again nothing.

On Stormy Daniels, nothing.

On the breakdown of DACA talks, nothing.

On the recent Florida school shootings, nothing.

On gun reform, nothing. (No wait that's not true, you mentioned gun control and then said bank reform was more important.)

On the Rob Porter wife beating violence, nothing.

On the porous WH security clearance passes, nothing.

On the president's refusal to issue Russian Sanctions, nothing.

On shithole countries, nothing.

On the president's personal attacks on fellow Senator John McCain, nothing.

On Kelly Anne Conway's violation of the Hatch Act, nothing.

On the bogus Nunes Memo, nothing.

On Charlottesville, nothing.

On the failed rescue of Puerto Rico, nothing.

I'm sure you are aware of the meme concerning your indifference to such suffering.

But personally I find the whole turtle sticking its head in its shell to be tired and hackneyed. Moreover, it's wrong. Because it connotes a moving, breathing organism that still possesses life.

But like ethics, morals and sense of duty to country, you have none.

I prefer to think of you not as a turtle but as a large, muddied sedimentary boulder pressing down on the neck of America. Suffocating the country with nothing more but the unmoving forces of gravity, until the lifeblood of democracy and liberty no longer flow freely, leaving nothing but a dried up corpse of a once great nation.

That'll be your legacy, Mitch.

Have a great day Senator.

Rich Siegel
Culver City, CA 90232

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