Monday, June 19, 2017

There are twatwaffles amongst us

I work with smart people.

This was confirmed on two separate occasions, on two separate gigs, just last week.

Chances are you work with smart people too. Particularly, if my analytics are correct and you toil in advertising. Or marketing. Or advertising/marketing. We can delineate the two and draw paths between the two fields and give each its own definition. That's how smart we are.

We take complex business challenges and create elaborate, multi-pronged, multilevel, multichannel solutions with their own mini-strategies, purposes and agendas. We parse out language and draw distinctions between campaigns, buckets and directions. We have the ability to shapeshift and alter the landscape for our client's products and services.

And we make banner ads.

The point is -- though I make fun of our business on a daily almost hourly basis -- our industry is chock full of smart people who possess a broad and deep wealth of knowledge and can carry on a conversation about any topic found on any random episode of Jeopardy.

From art to architecture.
From geology to gemology.
From scat to scatology, oh, we can go deep in scatology.

I hold all this in stark contrast to the twatwaffles we have been sending to Washington, DC.

Hardly a day passes when I don't read some asinine comment from one of our esteemed Congressman that makes me think, "Who dropped you on your head in the delivery room?" and "shame on your parents for force feeding you lead paint sandwiches."

These people are just plain fucking dumb.

"I'm not worried about climate change. If things get really bad, Jesus will take of it."

"Women have built in self-defense mechanisms. So they can't get pregnant if they are raped. And even if they could it's a blessing from God."

"The Earth is only 6,000 years old."

"There is no global warming. Look, look at this snowball I brought in to the Congressional hall."

It's got me scratching my hairless head.

It's as if they rounded up all the kids in high school and college who never went to class. Put them on a bus with all the lifeless Assistant Managers I ever knew working at Dennys, TGIF and Cheesecake factory. And teamed them up with the rock-headed idiots who bring vicious pit bulls to the dog park.

And said, "Congratulations gentlemen, here are the keys to the People's House. You may commence leadership."

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