Tuesday, May 9, 2017

What have they been doing?

By most accounts, the new healthcare bill, TrumpCare™, that passed last week is a paper turd.

It had a 17% approval rating in public polls.
It will lead to 24 million Americans losing their coverage.
And it was rejected by 20 Republicans in the House of Representatives.

I don't want to get all wonky and dive into the details. Fact is, I don't even understand how the deductibles work on my car insurance. I'm not about to tackle waivers, high risk pools, and affordable exchanges.

Here's what I do know -- the business world.

I know how corporate organizations work.
I know how tasks get delegated.
I know how deadlines get met.
I know about optics.
I've seen it at the best ad agencies. The worst agencies. And even at great agencies who are no longer at their best.

Shit gets done.

For 8 years we've heard the Republicans in Congress bitching and moaning about Obamacare and its Death Panels. We've heard them yakking about jobs and how the previous administration had failed working class Americans. And then there's the National Debt, now near 20 trillion dollars. We heard them panic on that as well...

"If we don't do something about the debt soon, we'll be bankrupting our grandchildren."

Well, six months ago the pasty-faced white men in their Joseph A. Banks suits got a gift from heaven (or Moscow.) They were unbound, free to impose their myopic will and make their legislative mark on America. But it hasn't exactly gone as planned.

Let me tell you what would have happened if these were ad people and not politicians.

On January 20th, shortly after a royal walk down Pennsylvania Ave., Precedent Shitgibbon would arrive at the Oval Office. And before he even had time to order a Coke, there would've been a thick document sitting on his desk, waiting for his immediate signature. That document, a viable ObamaCare alternative would have been carefully crafted by people who worked nights and weekends to dot every i and cross every t.

This new healthcare bill would have covered every American. Would have lowered premiums. And would have been blessed by every Republican in the House and the Senate. It would have been so meticulously thought out there would simply be no need for revisions or committees.

But before they all retired to the Rose Garden for beer and high fives, Eddie Munster (Paul Ryan) would have placed another thick document before COTUS -- our Cockholster Of The United States.

A jobs bill.

A comprehensive, creative piece of legislation encompassing 8 years of their best thinking, to lower unemployment, and guarantee working Americans a better shot at the future. That too, would have unanimous approval by the Republicans, after all they would have spent the better part of a decade canoodling and tweaking the bill to perfection.

And finally, before the ink was even dry on the new Healthcare Bill and the new Jobs Bill, and before the press photographers ran out of digital space on their SD cards, our orange-haired twatwaffle would have been presented a new budget.

One that also reflected 8 years of nose-to-the-grindstone work. A budget that would lower spending, reduce our collective debt and put us on the path to financial sanity.

Oh and since it was prepared by ad people, not worthless politicians, it'd probably include some hashtags and brand activation ideas.

All of which begs the question,

"What the fuck have these bible-thumping, khaki-pants wearing, illiterate frat boys been doing for the past 8 years?"


george tannenbaum said...

They've been race baiting, what else?

Jessan Dunn Otis said...

Not to put too fine a point on it all. I adore the Munster/Ryan image. I will never be able to look at Ryan the same way again. Thanks, as always.