Thursday, May 11, 2017

My cup runneth over

I had no intention of doing a RoundSeventeen Themed Week, but as you might have noticed the three previous postings from this week were all centered around Precedent Shitgibbon.

And so is this one.

I don't know what it's like at your household, but here in the heart of Culver City blood pressure is spiking to heretofore unseen levels.

When my wife and I are not screaming at the TV. We are seriously paging through the Aliyah pamphlets and contemplating a move to the Holy Land where we would ironically feel safer than we currently do in America and the rise of the Fourth Reich.

My liver, overworked by a nightly three fingers worth of Maker's Mark has been producing more bile than my body knows what to do with. Consequently it has poured itself all over the blog.

Perhaps it's because I'm a so-called writer or perhaps it's because meaningful political persuasion is way above my pay grade, but I've become fascinated with Shakespearean insults as well as the practice of linguistic antibacchius.

antibacchius -- compounds consisting of one element of a single stressed syllable and a second disyllabic element with a trochaic pattern, i.e., stressed unstressed.

Of course, it's more fun to eat the sausage than it is to see or discuss how it's made. So with no further ado, here are my favorite names for our current commander in chief.

Churlish, earth-vexxing jizztrumpet

Paunchy, beef-witted taintbiscuit

Frothy, gore-bellied flapdragon

Lumpish, clay-brained shitmandril

Reeky, clapper-clawed pissweasel

Mammering, dog-hearted hugger mugger

Fawning, idle-headed toadsucker

I encourage you to use any or all of these colorful descriptors when referring to our heartless leader.

Also, if you prefer pictures over words, please free to use this.

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