Tuesday, November 15, 2016


I used to sleep like a champion.

Those days are long gone.

Now I find myself leaping out of bed, ok, not exactly leaping, but rising while the sun is still on the bottom side of the horizon. This is not to my liking. And it's clearly not my first choice.

If I had my druthers I'd be three cycles deep into REM sleep and dreaming of Angelina Jolie, she's single now.

Or as my wife would say,

"Keep dreaming. I'm sure after the break up with Brad Pitt she's on the prowl for a fat, bald Jew in a 2007 Lexus with the dual climate control and Mark Levenson stereo. If you can make that happen, go for it."

My point is...what was my point...oh yeah, I can't sleep anymore. Which, as I mentioned before, was not always the case.

As a teenager I'd rarely be out of bed before lunch hit the table. And in college, far from my father's watchful and scornful eye, I'd gladly skip class and wake up when the sun was at its highest point in the day and the temperature was at its apex, which in Syracuse was rarely above 28 degrees.

Of course the logical solution would be for me to go to bed earlier. At a more reasonable hour like 10 or 11PM, you know like my fellow 44 year olds. But the Internet will not allow.

This is messing with my system. I'm eating lunch when I should be eating breakfast. And I find myself intrigued with the early bird specials at my local Denny's. Two for one Salisbury Steak if I order before 4 PM. How can I pass that up?

Oh, look it's 8:30 AM.

Maybe I'll take a nap.

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