Monday, October 3, 2016
Welcome to Hilton/Doubletree/Hampton/Conrad/Waldorf/Embassy/Curio/Tru/Canopy/and Homewood suites
If you look at the end of any Apple commercial you'll see the apple logo.
What's more telling however, is what you won't see.
It doesn't say Apple.
There's no phone number to call.
There's not even a hashtag.
It's just a silhouette of an apple with a bite taken out of it.
It's rumored that a few lieutenants asked Steve Jobs to include all that additional information. It's also rumored that he answered them...
"Why the fuck do I want to make it harder for consumers to remember our spots? If they're interested they'll find us. I think they're smart enough to do that. And if they're not that smart they can jump on Windows 95."
Well, apparently the marketing genii at Hilton never got that memo. I've been seeing a bunch of Hilton commercials lately, and believe me, they're all indistinguishable from each other. I see what's on the air and I troll through my files from last year's Hilton pitch and can't help wondering...
But that's not even the point of today's rant.
Having endured 27 seconds of hospitality tropes that have more wear and tear on them than the hallway carpets at the Flamingo Hotel in Las Vegas, the consumer is assaulted with an eye chart of proud Hilton properties (see above).
14 properties in all.
Once again, leaving me to wonder, "Really?"
What purpose could it possibly serve? And mind you this is 3 seconds out of 30, that's a full 10% of the messaging unit.
Let's say I'm intrigued by the pristine well-made queen size beds, lured by the sparkling indoor pool, and convinced by the khaki-pants wearing business fellow eating gourmet scrambled eggs and bacon served by an unnaturally happy room service attendant.
And let's say I book my room at the downtown Topeka Hilton for just $149 a night (offer not valid Thursdays thru Sundays).
Why on earth do I need to know that the mother company also operates the Doubletree in Fairbanks, Alaska? Or the Hampton Inn, in Middletown, NY?
If it were me, I'd sell off the Embassy Suites, and use the proceeds of the sale to open up the walls on the remaining 13 properties and put some goddamn soundproofing insulation between the goddamn rooms.