Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Nice Driveway

Today is the last day of August. If the trend continues as it has, it will be the highest trafficked month in the 8 &1/2 year history of RoundSeventeen. That means nothing to you, but it's a major milestone for me.

Don't forget, I'm no longer a staff guy at an agency so I don't have the jubilant moments you still get to enjoy...

"That was a great meeting!"

"Did you see the way the client was smiling when I read the tagline?"

"I have my fingers crossed, but I'm pretty sure they're gonna let us take this work into focus groups. Woo Hoooo!!!!!!!"

So why the sudden jump in web traffic, you might be asking, but probably are not. A few weeks ago, I posted a little political commentary regarding Trump's nefarious association with Russia.

It got more than 1000 shares on Facebook and Twitter. And, I suspect, led people to my little blog. At least that's what the Google analytics tell me. This little meme floated all around the Mother country.

So to pander to all my new Russian followers, and because I simply can't get enough of Russian Dating Sites, I'm revisiting сайт знакомств трут.

Say hello to Elanya, a full-figured gal looking for a full-figured man who "enjoys Air Supply, monster truck demolition derbies and discotheque." She's marriage-minded and wants to meet a man who can complete her. Preferably one who also has a speaker for a Panasonic KB9077 Series B beat box player.

Meet Malvina. As you can see from the crayon markings on the kitchen wall, Malvina is a single mom, widowed when her husband Petrov choked in a Vodka/Cheesecake eating contest. According to her bio, she is a sturdy woman, of fine character and has an admirable collection of pots and pans.

Yaraslava is a party girl. Actually, she was a party girl. Though her picture mistakenly remains on the dating site, she met her dream man, Alexei, seen here:

Sadly, there were no wedding pictures to be shared.

Finally, there is Raisa.

Her picture and profile have been up for quite some time. Unfortunately no Russian suitor has swiped right. This has led to many heated discussions here at RoundSeventeen headquarters. The staff and I agree it has little to do with the jorts or the exposed midriff or even the dated linoleum.

Girl, we know it's difficult, but you gotta give up the ciggies.

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