Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Not So Urgent Care

Let's say you're on your way to work.

Maybe your day started a bit earlier than normal. Maybe the neighbor's dog managed to sneak through the gate and get out before the sun has risen. And maybe, for no apparent reason started barking, loudly, at the cinder block wall.

On your way to work and the never-ending slog up Stinking' Lincoln Blvd. you spot this young lass twirling a sign like a veteran Chinese Plate Spinner. And you think to yourself, "Yes, bacon and eggs does sound good." And, "Yes, I happen to have two dollars and ninety nine cents in my possession."

So you "treat" yourself to a spontaneous breakfast at Norms.

That's how these sign spinning things work.

And as you've probably noticed, it's not just apropos of greasy spoon diners.

Apparently, this ubiquitous marketing can induce a spur of the moment car washing, the preparation of one's income tax returns or even the purchase of a new home.

I get it.

But imagine my surprise, when leaving the gym the other day, I spotted this fellow.

(Note: I literally drove past him, then a mile and half later decided it would be worth a trip to circle back and get his picture. Ironically, the guy holding and spinning the sign was so stoned he didn't mind posing for me.)

Let that sink in for a second.

It's a man holding a sign (though they really should have sprung for the giant arrow shaped model) coaxing drivers into the Playa Medical Urgent Care Center.

I'm trying to picture how that works.

"Mmmm, I've had this open sore on my forehead. And now it's starting to ooze. And oh, damnit some of that pus just got in my mocha frappaccino. But wait, there's an Urgent Care Medical Center that can tend to the gaping hole in my skull and guarantee future specialized coffee drinks will not be besmirched by my unwanted and unsavory bodily fluids. Ooo, and they offer validated parking."

Since I was up close and personal with the sign spinner, who honestly did a lot more shimmying and shaking than spinning, I asked him up why they had him out there on the corner.

"I don't know, man. I guess they just trying drum up some business. They need the the money. Something about a lawsuit."


Dirty (I've been inside there once before), desperate and currently under litigation, everything I'm looking for in a health care facility.

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