Thursday, May 19, 2016

It's a Dog's life

If you're like most dog owners -- maybe "owners" isn't the right terminology, god knows I don't want to offend anybody -- you pick up food for your dog at the supermarket. Or at the PetCo. The PetSmart. The PetBox, whatever. And if your dog has special needs, maybe you go to one of Los Angeles' many doggie boutiques.

In any case, you slap your money on the counter and they fork over the food.

What a lucky bunch you are.
You see, apparently I'm not like other dog owners, again I apologize.

A couple of years ago, Nelly, pictured above, had her gall bladder removed. Her liver was malfunctioning and her enzyme count was too low. Or too high, I don't remember. I do remember shelling out a semester's worth of college tuition money to remedy it all.

And as you can tell from the smile on her face, it was well worth it. I'm no poet and don't have the faculties to put into words what it is we get from dogs, I only know that we do. And knock on wood that the 14 years we have enjoyed with Nelly will go another 14.

My wife says I'm being stupid and unrealistic.
But it's not the first time I've heard that.

Since the surgery, Nelly has been on Prescription Dog Food.

Prior to all this, I had no know idea there even was prescription dog food. I suspect you hadn't as well.

I grew up in a middle class suburban neighborhood that still bore it blue class roots. When dogs or cats got sick, or caught a cold or broke a leg, they simply put 'em down. There were no veterinary hospitals or 100,000 square foot warehouses filled with automatic water dispensers, electronic fences and lambskin doggie beds.

There was Ralph on the corner, selling replacement puppies.

But times are different. And since switching over to the prescription dog food there has been a remarkable improvement. So much so that we decided to keep Nelly on these low fat, gastrointestinal FDA-approved nuggets of protein, protein and more protein.

On my last visit to the one store in Los Angeles that carries these foul smelling, fishy meat pellets, I was told my prescription card had expired. Meaning, if I didn't get it renewed I would no longer be able to get Nelly's fix.

All of which has me wondering, is there some kind of Prescription Dog Food Black Market that I'm unaware of? A Mexican Cartel of K9 Nutrition Profiteers?

"Yo homie, check it out. I got ten kilos of free range chicken. This is the good stuff man."

I'm not one of those people who prattle on about the Nanny State. I understand the need for limited regulation. But doesn't the government have better things to be doing?

Like monitoring public restrooms.

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