Monday, January 18, 2016
"This soup is cold."
You probably haven't noticed but I've been very quiet on the political front as of late.
On second thought I don't think you've noticed because I don't like to assume people read RoundSeventeen with any kind of regularity. Or monitor its content. Or frankly, pay any attention. Because I think after 7 years the irrelevance of this blog has been very well established, thank you very much.
But a few weeks ago I got entangled, in a very civil manner mind you, with a few Facebook friends regarding the viability of a Bernie Sanders candidacy/presidency.
They saw it as a possibility.
I clearly do not.
It has nothing to do with his policies. While Bernie is clearly a Democrat, I think if more middle class families in the red states paid less attention to his silvery freak flag and listened to this passionate progressive they'd actually find he speaks to their needs.
He wants to lesson their tax burden and have the slack picked up for by billionaires and large tax-evading corporations shielding their income on Crete.
Or The Maldives.
And if people could get past the meaningless Socialist label, a remnant of a useless Cold War from the last century, they might see Bernie is fiercely committed to serving the middle class. And does so, with a sense of integrity rarely seen on K Street.
What makes Bernie Sanders, an American born in America, unfit for the Oval office can be found right at the tip of his schmeckle. More accurately, it can't be found.
You see, Bernie is a landsman.
A God-shmearing, lox-loving, candle-lighter who will, if he survives the primaries, no doubt appear in Adam Sandler's next Chanukah song.
And this country will NEVER elect a Jew for President of these United States.
Look, I'm 44 years old and have been around the block a few times, so I can say this with a fair amount of certainty. It's just not going to happen.
"Rich, are you out of your mind? This country has come a long way. We have a black president. Gay people can now get married. And women are now making 77 cents for every dollar made by a man. We are an enlightened people."
I don't have the time or the inclination to articulate, in debate team style, the many reasons proving my side of the argument. I'm not going to cherry pick vitriolic quotes from populist websites like stormfront or vanguard. And I'm not going to bore you with personal anti-Semitic anecdotes ripped from the bowels of the boy's locker room at Suffern Junior High School.
It's just a pure, indisputable gut feeling.
You can even call it Jewish instinct, like when a car dealer tells you that if he went any lower on the price he'd be losing money.
President Sanders. Sorry, Bernie that's not going to happen.