Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Piano sold separately

I did something I find myself doing once every two years -- I bought a new iPhone.

Not because I plan to film my cinematic opus in all its high resolution, hand-held beauty.

Or that I can press down on a photo and make it do cartwheels or some other nonsense which I will never use.

Or even that I'm a huge fan of the increasingly-huge Jon Favreau, who looks like he ate the entire craft service team during the shooting of Chef.

I bought a new iPhone because the battery on my old iPhone had less pep to its step than Abe Vigoda.

And while migrating my photos from one nebulous wing of the iCloud to another I stumbled across the photo above. It's the Ludwig van Beethoven Action Figure Doll. It was a gift given to my sister-in-law's nephew Max, during a recent Chanukah celebration.

I've gone on record as being 'easily-amused' but this tschochke-esque toy figure tickled my fancy the way old Ludwig van tickled the ivories, which if you look closely, you'll find cleverly woven into the packaging.

The makers of the Ludwig van Beethoven Action Figure Doll -- a phrase I never thought I'd ever find myself writing -- have paid attention to all the details. From the black wooden moccasins to the neckerchief to the un-ignorable loin thingamajig. I'm sure there's a 17th century term for this groin-covering garment, but I'm just too lazy to look it up.

Besides, there's a piano stool!

I don't know which genius at the Beijing Action Figure Toy Factory thought to include a piano stool and go the extra mile to have it custom wrapped in its own impossible-to-cut plastic clamshell, but you sir, are a genius of the highest magnitude.

As if all this were not inspirational enough, the fine folks at Accoutrements, Outfitters of Popular Culture, adorned the package with a life lesson from LVB:

"What I have in my heart must come out: that is why I compose."

It's safe to say that this may be applied to many of us who still toil in advertising. Tweaked of course to reflect our modern reality.

"What I have in my mailbox, bills, must be paid: that is why I will attend the Tuesday morning briefing."

Don't tell Max, but I've already purchased his gift for Chanukah 2016. Another exquisite offering from the fine folks at Accoutrements...

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