Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Uh-oh


I should have seen this coming.

My relentless ribbing of Dear Leader has finally caught someone's attention at the DPRK.

I'm assuming after the dust settled on Seth Rogen's movie, Kim's notetaking henchman finally noted the amateur from Culver City -- me.

The missive above arrived in my email. I was hesitant to open it thinking it might contain some malware. But that was almost instantly outweighed by my curiosity. Needless to say I went straight for one of those Internet based apps that translates Korean into broken pigeon English.

And naturally I am going to share it with you.



From the Ministry of Defense operating under Kim Jong Un, Supreme Leader of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea,

To the Yankee pig who maintains and posts pictures of great disrespect, you are a product of slovenly hygiene and nothing but a puppet of the American Imperialist Regime. Your unsheathed aggression will not go unanswered and a strong wind from the noble Kangnam Mountains will soon blow most unwelcome in your direction. You are hereby commanded to cease your seditious activities. Furthermore, you are to remove the offensive, warmongering material or suffer sinister consequences. Officers using state of the art equipment have already compiled a profile of you from the information superhighway. Should you persist with this insulting propaganda, your friends and family will know of your proclivity for furrys. We also have in our possession pictures of unwanted grey hairs growing in your ears and on your shoulders, disclosure of which would bring you, your wife and your daughters great unbearable shame. One last item, Dear Leader does not eat Be Bim Bap.

Die American Mongrel, Die









1 comment:

Dave Trott said...

It's not just you Rich:
http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/apr/15/north-koreans-complain-london-hairdresser-kim-jong-un