Wednesday, December 10, 2014
Introducing The SuperOffice™
Earlier this year, The Barbarian Group, a New York advertising boutique/agency/assemblage of unbearable hipsters introduced the world to their revolutionary new SuperDesk™. You might recall this "75 yard long unbroken ribbon of awesomeness."
It certainly made an impression on me.
Pablo Picasso once said, "good artists copy, great artists steal."
So today, I'm proud to introduce to you SuperDesk2™ (see above.)
Or as I like to call it, "A four and a half foot long mortgage paying, credit card reducing, 401K funding factory."
Unlike its predecessor, SuperDesk2™ does not promote employee engagement or creative collaboration or the shifting of any paradigms.
It has been designed for One.
One cranky misanthropic copywriter who abhors small talk, detests electronica music and does not play well with others, particularly if they are wearing a sock hat or have a greased handlebar mustache.
SuperDesk2™ has been handcrafted from the finest hard maple and in stark contrast to the original SuperDesk™ is equipped with many drawers and ample storage space, for personal items which may or may not be necessary for the purpose of writing and/or procrastination.
Keeping in mind the function for which it has been designed, the SuperDesk2™ has been thoughtfully integrated into the new SuperOffice™.
This revolutionary new workspace promotes quiet and a relaxed environment far, far away from incomprehensible Planners, useless brainstorming sessions and noisy agency birthday parties.
Witness the SuperDoor™.
Copywriters, particularly the underachieving kind, spend a great deal of time not copywriting. That is, their minds tend to wander. This can mean hours wasted on mindless websites, buildyourownyurt.com or kinkyeskimoporn.com.
Or it could necessitate a break from the computer screen. The designers of the SuperOffice™have thought of everything.
Yes, a window does seem like a relic from the past, but sometimes the old way of doing things is the best way of doing things.
Finally, after a grueling 20 minutes of headline writing or sales event conceptualizing, the exhausted copywriter will often find himself, or herself (for your 3%'ers), in need of some restorative downtime.
Once again, these forward thinkers have come to the rescue.
Introducing the SuperNapStation3000™.
The 2015 SuperOffice™.
Everything else is simply barbaric.