Dateline: Culver City, CA -- Imam Rahul Abdullah Ach ben Mohammed, religious leader of the Saudi-built King Fahad Mosque in Culver City (see above with the blue dome) has sent a special request to NFL Network (the angular building to the left) President Steve Bornstein.
Dear Mr. Bornstein,
As neighbors on Washington Blvd. in Culver City, California, we have always maintained a cordial and respectful relationship.
As you may know, our congregation religiously abstains from all pork products, including ham, sausage and even the mouth-watering St. Louis Baby Back ribs served at Lucille's at the nearby Westfield Shopping Center. Accordingly we would like to ask the NFL Network and the NFL organization to stop referring to football as a "pigskin."
This is but a small dispensation your organization can make in order to preserve our special friendship and please the will of Allah (PBUH.)
To show we are reasonable people with reasonable demands, we have taken the liberty of providing you with suitable alternatives, including:
I thank you in advance.
Likewise, per our earlier correspondence, we will soon have the new burqa designs that our congregation believes will be a pleasing wardrobe alternative for your NFL cheerleaders.
Rahul Abdullah Ach ben Mohammed