Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Spread too thin?

Last year's Occupy Movement made all the headlines. The 99% er's brought their beef to the street and everyone was talking about it.

Before that we had the vaunted Arab Spring, where disenfranchised voters in Egypt, Libya, Tunisia and now Syria, fought to have a voice in their country's future.

But what happened to Miracle Whip's Sandwich Condiment Revolution?

Perhaps you remember their rousing egg-based call to arms from 2009:

Don't go unnoticed.

Don't blend in.

Don't be ordinary, boring or bland

In other words, don't be so mayo.

We are our own one-of-a-kind unique flavor.

We are Miracle Whip.

And we will not tone it down.

Wow, you must be thinking, "has it really been five years since I felt that stirring in my belly?"

Like you, I want to know where the revolution stands today. Has progress been made? Is egg salad no longer just egg salad? Or is it now the chosen food for those who openly defy convention?

What's next on the Miracle Whip agenda? And more importantly how can I, an individual with strong feelings about mayonnaise and sandwich toppings, get involved and actively engage with the brand?

I feel like maybe I've been left out of the loop.

Maybe they're talking about Miracle Whip on Instagram.
Or Plaxo.
Or Tinder.

Maybe there are underground after hours clubs packed with hipsters planning the next Miracle Whip Rage against the Mayonnaise Machine. Maybe that's why I'm lost out here in no man's condiment land.

I don't know.

What I do know is if Miracle Whip doesn't follow up their original anthem spot with another edge-of-my-seat manifesto my attention will turn elsewhere.

You know after my 10 hour work day, my 90 minutes of exercise, my 35 minute dinner with the family, my 25 minutes of helping my daughters with their homework, my 22 minutes of The Daily Show, and my 15 minutes of online chess, I still have a precious 10 minutes worth of bandwidth to spend with my favorite brands.

If these Miracle Whip people don't step up to the plate, I'll go elsewhere.

I hear they are doing exciting things over at Pepto Bismol.

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