Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Alcohol Tobacco Firearms and Thin Mints

(image borrowed from fellow blogger George Tannenbaum at adaged.blogspot.com.)

Later today, Vice President Biden is expected to make an important announcement regarding new gun control legislation in America.

Some will say he has not gone far enough. Then, they'll yawn and go back to sipping their iced lattes, scheduling their pilates classes and complaining about the proposed light rail system coming way too close to their neighborhood.

Some will say he gone too far. They'll get all locked and loaded. And then make testosterone-fueled youtube videos of themselves daring the ATF, CIA or NWO (that's New World Order for those of you not familiar with crazed conspiracist theory) to come knocking at their doors.

The hypocritical liberal apathy and the right winged reactionary rhetoric are both equally disgusting.

When will sanity return to the United States?

The framers of the Constitution and the second amendment did not, and could not, foresee the kind of deadly weapons that are now being used to commit mass murder in our schools. By the way, what part of well-regulated is so difficult to understand?

The topic of gun control hits fairly close to home. And by close I mean we had a neighbor, just two doors away, who dealt guns. Big guns, little guns, guns of every flavor, right out of his garage. This was not more than 25 yards from my home.

And while it did not please my wife, or myself, or any of the other neighbors, the Federal Government had no problem with it and had issued him a license to sell these weapons right in my little corner of Culver City.

Every three days or so, the UPS truck would show up with a new delivery. And as soon as the new guns would show up, the new customers would arrive. Leaving the house with their long cardboard boxes. And their scopes. And their bullets.

It was all very lucrative. So lucrative in fact that my neighbor, let's just call him AssClown, was able to stay at home and ring up the register. And not having to go to a real job left him ample time to get soused.

Did I mention that this licensed Federal Gun Dealer was also a certified raging alcoholic? Can you think of a better combination? I can't.

Thankfully, he, his Filipino "bride", his obnoxious barking Huskies, and his mini arsenal, packed up and left the neighborhood a few years ago. He sold his house to a nice young couple with a 9 year old daughter. They don't sell guns. But his daughter is relentless with the Girl Scout Cookies.


When are we going to pass some meaningful legislation regarding the proliferation of Girl Scout Cookies?

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