Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Keep On Trucking

I've gone off before about people who text and drive.

In fact, much to my daughter's collective chagrin, I have no problem confronting these imbeciles and in one instance, during stop and go traffic on the 405, came within a hair of getting out of my car and giving some hipster a thorough tongue lashing.

However, in accordance with the 'people in glass houses' maxim, and as the photo above indicates, I'm not above using my iPhone while driving. In my defense, I only did it to document another variety of the douchebag driver.

As you can see, he has skillfully crammed an entire apartment's worth of crap into the back of a sub-compact pick up truck. You would think that someone so adept at packing and logistics might have considered doing the haul in two trips, thereby not putting hundreds of other innocent drivers at risk, but he didn't.

He saw the open flat bed as an open ended invitation to reach for the sky.

And he almost got there. With a couple of bicycles, a baby's crib, an industrial sized desk, and two Weber grills, (which are not visible in the picture so don't go looking). Had it not been for those pesky 15-foot overpasses that criss cross the San Diego Freeway, I'm sure Mr. I-Can-Make-That-Fit would have gone even higher.

By the way, also not in the picture, is this man's family, his wife and two kids shoe-horned into the cab of this tiny truck with their lips pressed against the windshield.

Astute readers of roundseventeen know that I write a regular series entitled People We Should Kill. It's an exercise in thinning our very overcrowded herd. And they may be wondering why this candidate did not make the cut. The answer is very simple.

 I think fate and this driver's discernible lack of intelligence will take of that on its very own.

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