Monday, June 20, 2011
Slap-Happy Father's day
Seems appropriate that the day after Father's Day I do a posting about my two beautiful daughters. Truth is, I probably don't write about them enough. So today I'd like to share the pride of my handiwork. Of course, if you're familiar with my in-vitro fertilization/turkey baster stories, you know when I say handiwork I am, in one case, speaking literally.
I'd like you to pay particular attention to the pearly whites pictured above.
That's about half a BMW M3 Series worth of orthodontia you're looking at. Keep in mind that my wife and I both have relatively healthy, straight teeth and no history of corrective dental work. Which made it all the more surprising when we were told that both girls would have to slap on the face grill.
As of last week that's all in the past. The pliers have been put away and the discarded braces have already been sent back to the recycling center where they have been re-contorted into chicken wire.
Come September, both my beautiful girls will enter St. Monica's Catholic High School where they will no doubt draw the attention of several geeky high school boys. Not only because of their award winning smiles but also because some of these lunkheads might be under the mistaken belief that my novel little Jewish girls may not be as 'straight-laced' as the resident Catholic girls.
And I'm here to tell you, they will.
In fact, next week I'm planning to enroll at a local gym to either start training in Krav Maga or some straight up Boxing. So that when these boys come a knocking at my front door, I'll be prepared.
I have no intention of cleaning some 17-year old's clock.
I just want to know that I can.