Thursday, October 29, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
The Winter Olympics are approaching and I am looking forward to the giant slalom, the ski jumping and even the freestyle snowboarding.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Got an e-mail yesterday from Jonathon Farber, head of New Ventures at Google Labs.
Seems someone up there caught wind of my blog and thought it would be perfect in a new synthesized communications platform alternative. I have no idea what that means, but to make an extremely exciting story short, he offered me an absurd amount of money for exclusive rights to the next three years of roundseventeen.com
Can you believe that?
Yeah, neither can I.
Because it didn’t really happen.
And frankly, it’s all your fault. You people, who are always e-mailing me and calling me to tell me how much you love reading roundseventeen, have done nothing to publicize it.
And that makes me mad. But being mad is not going to get your off your butts. Money however, might.
So here’s the deal. I’m culling through my list of 571 Facebook friends to find 500 lucky people. (Let’s face it there are 71 of you I don’t even know or even want to know. And you know who you are.)
The fortunate 500 who are chosen will become instant stakeholders in roundseventeen.com. Collectively, you will own 10% of the enterprise. Right now that enterprise is worth nothing. And 10% of nothing is nothing. But, let's say I did get a call from Google and let's say I did hit the digital jackpot, well guess what, so would you. Think of it as a no-cost Ponzi scheme that unlike Madoff's, pays off.
All you've got to do is start spreading the roundseventeen word.
BTW, I just installed special analytic software that enables me to see who has been linking entries and who has not. So at the end of the year, when it comes time for X-mas bonuses, well, let’s just say I know who’s been naughty and who’s been nice.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Accents, excessive cigarette smoking, and fanatic sports enthusiasm aside,
Monday, October 12, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
That's a crown machine to all the chicks?
You're damn right
Who is the man
That would risk his practice for his brother man?
Can ya dig it?
Who's the cat that won't cop out
When there's novocaine all about
You see this cat Shmuelie is a bad mother--
(Shut your mouth)
But I'm talkin' about Shmuelie
(Then we can dig it)
He's a complicated orthodontist
But no one understands him but his malpractice lawyer
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
Thursday, October 1, 2009
A few weeks ago the Egyptian government ordered the slaying of all first born. Pigs, that is.